How Should Christians Approach Suicide?
In the last post, I dealt with the very difficult and complex topic of depression using the example of Elijah. Closely related is the equally difficult topic of suicide. Just like depression, suicide is a massive problem in our society. Even before the pandemic, suicide has reached nearly epidemic levels, and the prolonged isolation of lockdowns only exacerbated that problem. And Christians are susceptible to suicidal thoughts too. Nearly any church likely contains people who either struggles with suicidal thoughts or are close to someone who does. Therefore, approaching the uncomfortable topic of suicide biblically is extremely important. How should Christians help those with suicidal thoughts? How should they address those thoughts in themselves? As with depression, there is no quick and easy answer, but we will see that Scripture does have an answer.
Suicide in Scripture
Like depression, suicide is not mentioned by name in Scripture but is certainly evident. Saul and his armor-bearer fell on their swords to avoid capture (1 Samuel 31). Upon seeing his conspiracy with Absalom unravel, Ahithophel hung himself (2 Samuel 17:23) just as Judas Iscariot would later do (Matthew 27:5). There were also cases of what we would describe today as suicidal thoughts. Both Elijah (1 Kings 19:4) and Jonah (Jonah 4:3,8) ask God that they might die. Others may have wished to die but didn’t state it. Hagar appears to have given into despair (Genesis 21:15-16), and in trying to send her daughters-in-law away, Naomi may have had similar thoughts (Ruth 1:6-18). Job’s first words to his friends were a lament that he was even born (Job 3), which was later echoed by Jeremiah (Jeremiah 20:14-18). Furthermore, the torment of God’s judgment is so intense that it makes death desirable (Jeremiah 8:3, Revelation 9:6).
At this point, it is important to note the significant difference between wanting to die and wanting to commit suicide. Both Elijah and Jonah stated their desires for God to take their lives, not to commit suicide. In despair, Hagar and possibly Naomi seem to have simply resigned to their fate, so they weren’t seeking to end their lives either. Even those who actually committed suicide did so in response to terrible circumstances, not with premeditated intent. Those who committed suicide didn’t desire to do so beforehand, and those who wished for death did not wish to bring it upon themselves. Clearly, the concept of premeditated suicide that is common to our day is foreign to Scripture.
Based on this, we must describe suicide for what it really is: self-murder. God created mankind in general (and every person in particular) in His image. As our Creator, only God has the authority to determine when it is appropriate to end our lives. In Scripture, God has defined the only three situations in which deliberately ending a human life is appropriate. The first is when the proper authorities execute a rightly-convicted criminal for what God has defined as a capital offense (Genesis 9:6, Exodus 21:12-14. Leviticus 24:17-18, Numbers 35:30-31). The second is to kill enemy combatants in war. The third is when someone under immediate threat kills a perpetrator in self-defense (Exodus 22:2-3). To deliberately kill any human being outside of these circumstances is defined by Scripture as murder. To commit suicide is to deliberately end a human life, therefore suicide like abortion is murder in all circumstances, including physician-assisted suicide (euthanasia), regardless of whether the patient consents or not. Scripture is clear that suicide is murder, so we must therefore resist the urge to dilute its gravity with terms like “taking your own life” or “ending it all”.
Lessons from Paul
All of this means that Scripture is far from silent about suicide, not only addressing murder in general but also the despair that leads to self-murder. There are many passages that speak to such despair. Some of the richest of these were written by Paul, so the Spirit has much to teach us about suicidal thoughts from him. He talks of such intense afflictions that he “despaired of life itself” (2 Corinthians 1:8) and would go on to say that death is to his advantage (Philippians 1:21, 23 cf. 2 Corinthians 5:8). What are we to make of this?
As with all verses, we must look at these verses in their proper context. In Philippians 1, Paul explains how his imprisonment is being used by God to advance the Gospel, for which he rejoices:
What then? Only that in every way, whether in pretense or in truth, Christ is proclaimed, and in that I rejoice. Yes, and I will rejoice, for I know that through your prayers and the help of the Spirit of Jesus Christ this will turn out for my deliverance, as it is my eager expectation and hope that I will not be at all ashamed, but that with full courage now as always Christ will be honored in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. If I am to live in the flesh, that means fruitful labor for me. Yet which I shall choose I cannot tell. I am hard pressed between the two. My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better. But to remain in the flesh is more necessary on your account. Convinced of this, I know that I will remain and continue with you all, for your progress and joy in the faith, so that in me you may have ample cause to glory in Christ Jesus, because of my coming to you again.
-Philippians 1:18-26, ESV
While Paul does say that it is far better to depart this life, he is clearly not saying this out of despair. Instead, he displays great hope. He is confident that God would use everything for his deliverance (verse 19 cf. Romans 8:28). He was also driven by a purpose much greater than himself: honoring Christ, whether through life or death (verses 19-20). Additionally, he was so busy with fruitful labor that it was difficult for him to choose between going to heaven and remaining on earth to serve the church (verses 22-23), even seeing that work as necessary for others (verse 24). Thus, Paul was not at all suicidal, but his words speak important truths to counter the lies of suicidal thoughts.
Lie #1: My situation is hopeless, so suicide is my only option.
Between continuing a miserable life of suffering and ending that life, the latter seems to be the better option. This comes from the assumption that the situation will not improve. But Paul begins this section by stating his confidence that God will use everything for his deliverance (cf. Romans 8:28)—even the suffering that has caused him to despair of life itself. God is sovereign over every situation we face. Nothing is impossible with Him, so no situation is hopeless. As I observed here, God is sovereign over every step of the process of our sanctification, perfectly controlling every variable in that process in order to conform us to Christ’s image. I believe we will look back on our darkest times and see that they were both good and necessary. He has determined every breath we breathe. When He is done with us, we will die—but not a nanosecond sooner. Therefore, if you are still breathing, God is not done with you yet. Thus, your best days may be ahead of you, so suicide is never the best or only option.
Lie #2: My life is mine to take.
Suicide is often referred to as taking your own life, but this assumes that your life belongs to you. God created every person, so the life of every person belongs to God. This is doubly true for Christians because Christ also owns us, having bought us with His blood. Paul understands this, so he states his desire to honor God in his body (cf. 1 Corinthians 6:20). This includes every aspect of physical life and even death: “For none of us lives to himself, and none of us dies to himself. For if we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord. So then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord’s. For to this end Christ died and lived again, that he might be Lord both of the dead and of the living” (Romans 14:7-9). Therefore, you cannot take your own life because your life is not your own. How dare we presume to steal the life that belongs to God!
Lie #3: Death will end my life.
Suicide is also frequently described as ending it all. But Scripture teaches that every person consists not only of a mortal body but also an eternal soul (Genesis 2:7, Matthew 10:28, 1 Corinthians 2:11,5:5). Suicide only ends the life of the mortal body, not the immortal soul. Physical death is not the end of life but the transition from this life to the next: “For this perishable body must put on the imperishable, and this mortal body must put on immortality” (1 Corinthians 15:53). People throughout the Old Testament talk of death as consciously “going down to Sheol”—the place of the dead (Genesis 37:35, 1 Kings 2:6, Ezekiel 31:17). Jesus (Matthew 9:24, John 11:11-14) and the apostles (1 Corinthians 15:6,18,20, 1 Thessalonians 4:13-15, 2 Peter 3:4) refer to death as sleeping. In Philippians 1, Paul says that to live is Christ and to die is gain, so he is looking forward to eternity in anticipation. For him, and for us, death is not the end. Therefore, we cannot end it all—even with suicide.
Lie #4: My life doesn’t matter to anyone, so no one will miss me.
Those dogged by suicidal thoughts cannot perceive any meaningful impact of their lives on others, so they reason that they are not important to anyone and will therefore not be missed. Paul says the opposite. He desires to depart and be with Christ forever, but sees his continued life on earth as necessary for others. This work is so fulfilling that it is difficult for him to choose which is better: earth or heaven. And remember, he wrote those words from prison just like Ephesians, Colossians, Philemon, and 2 Timothy. God in His providence caused Paul to be imprisoned at least in part so that he could write these words to us. Like Paul, our lives are necessary to others until the point when God determines our labor is done, and then we will die. Then and only then can we echo Paul’s words: “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing” (2 Timothy 4:7-8). So for the sake of those around us, we should not desire death until that work is done. We were made to live in community, so God has ordained that our lives will be important to those around us. In 1 Corinthians 12, we see that every part of the Body is necessary, so everyone who dies is missed—and suicide is especially devastating to those left behind.[1] Everyone’s life matters to others, even if we cannot perceive how.
Lie #5: Nothing can be worse than my life, not even death.
Suicidal thoughts convince people that this life is so bad that death cannot possibly be worse, but Scripture teaches that there is something worse than physical death. We have already seen that physical death is not the end but the transition to eternity. After death must come the judgment of God for every thought, word, deed, and motive of ours (Hebrews 9:27). God is righteous and just, so our incessant sinning must be punished. All whose sin was atoned for by Jesus Christ are no longer under God’s wrath and will therefore be welcomed by God into glory that is infinitely better than any blessings we could experience in this life. Conversely, all whose sin was not paid for by Jesus Christ will pay for that sin by eternal torment in hell that will be infinitely worse than any suffering that anyone can experience in this life. Hell is very real, and real people will go there. This is found throughout Scripture. Here’s just one example:
For if we go on sinning deliberately after receiving the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins, but a fearful expectation of judgment, and a fury of fire that will consume the adversaries. Anyone who has set aside the law of Moses dies without mercy on the evidence of two or three witnesses. How much worse punishment, do you think, will be deserved by the one who has trampled underfoot the Son of God, and has profaned the blood of the covenant by which he was sanctified, and has outraged the Spirit of grace? For we know him who said, “Vengeance is mine; I will repay.” And again, “The Lord will judge his people.” It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.
-Hebrews 10:26-31, ESV
For all who trust in Christ, every sin has been atoned for and every deed done in faith will prove that we are children of God. But since anything not done in faith is sin and cannot please God (Romans 14:23, Hebrews 11:6), every thought, word, deed, and motive of every unbeliever will accumulate God’s wrath against them. So for all who do not trust in Christ, it is foolish to desire to hasten death and therefore bring God’s wrath upon themselves. For the believer, it is true that this life is as bad as it gets, but that is no reason to wish for death. We will give an account to God for how wisely we have stewarded every moment He has given us. Therefore, we should not wish to cut short the time He has given us to advance His Kingdom.
Suicide and Salvation
At this point, it is necessary to dispel two common misconceptions about the relationship between suicide and salvation. On one hand, some will say that suicide is an unpardonable sin because the person has no opportunity to repent. This essentially makes suicide a guarantee of damnation, regardless of any previous faith. On the other hand, some have said that God would not condemn someone to hell who commits suicide because of His compassion for their immense pain. This essentially makes suicide a means of salvation, regardless of any previous rejection of Christ. Both of these can be answered in the same way: salvation is by grace alone through faith alone in Christ alone. It cannot be gained or lost through anything that any person could do—including suicide: “And this is the testimony, that God gave us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. Whoever has the Son has life; whoever does not have the Son of God does not have life” (1 John 5:11-12). Whoever has Jesus Christ will be saved, but whoever doesn’t have Christ will be condemned. There is no caveat here for suicide. Jesus said that there is only one unpardonable sin: blasphemy against the Holy Spirit (Matthew 12:31-32, Mark 3:28-30, Luke 12:10). The work of the Holy Spirit is to convict us of sin and work salvation in us. He exalts Christ, so to reject Christ is to blaspheme the Holy Spirit. Therefore, anyone who dies rejecting Christ has committed blasphemy against the Holy Spirit and will therefore never be forgiven, regardless of their manner of death. Conversely, the complete atonement of Jesus Christ means that even though suicide is the sin of self-murder, if a person has genuine faith in Jesus Christ, that sin has already been paid for by Him. Therefore, a believer who commits suicide cannot lose salvation because of suicide. So suicide has no bearing on salvation.
Caring for the Suicidal
With all of this in mind, how should we care for those with suicidal thoughts? What follows certainly not exhaustive, and I am no expert, so take these suggestions accordingly. We are often hesitant to directly address suicidal statements. We know we need to do something to prevent people from acting on their suicidal thoughts, but we fear that if we react wrongly it will make matters worse. But instead of tiptoeing around the issue, we need to speak directly yet compassionately to those with suicidal thoughts. We need to battle the lies of suicidal thoughts with the truths already discussed and with the same weapons we discussed last time for battling depression: meaningful work that gives a greater purpose, emphasis on the sovereignty of God, long-term focus, trust in God’s promises, and fellowship with the saints. Just as with depression, we need to image God in both mercy and righteousness, so we must be both merciful and patient while not overlooking sin.
This brings up an important point of caution. Because of both the prevalence of suicide in our society and our proclivity to do whatever is necessary to prevent it, voicing suicidal thoughts can be used as a form of manipulation. By stating suicidal intentions, people can coerce others to do what they want in order to prevent them from committing suicide. In that case, the threat of suicide becomes a means to an end. They don’t really want to commit suicide, but see suicidal statements as a way to get what they really want. Thus, it is wise not to appease them but to lovingly confront this sin. This is certainly not true in all or even most cases, but it is possible. We still need to take suicidal statements very seriously, but if we see a pattern of such statements, we need to explore the possibility that the person is not suicidal but manipulative.
Nevertheless, manipulation as a motive for suicidal statements should only be considered after a pattern of such statements is seen. An initial suicidal statement is much more likely to be a cry for help or a test to see if anyone really cares. Therefore, we should treat all initial suicidal statements as genuine and not manipulative. When people make statements that indicate possible suicidal thoughts, we need to start by showing that we care by being good listeners and asking questions that will help reveal the root of the suicidal statements. We also need to determine whether the person intents to act imminently on those statements and take appropriate physical mitigation steps to prevent suicide, such as removing means of harm and involving the proper authorities if warranted. Once suicide is no longer imminent, we need to address the causes of those suicidal thoughts and intentions. This is where caring for suicidal people becomes a challenging and long-term endeavor that will require immense patience. They don’t only need to be prevented from committing suicide, but they need hope.[2] Suicidal thoughts do not dissipate with removed means of harm and a few nice sayings. To truly prevent suicide requires getting down and dirty into the messy lives of real people for the long term—just like all other soul care. But take heart, the One who has overcome the world can overcome suicidal thoughts as well. If we think suicide is a viable option, we really don’t know our merciful and just God.[3]
In conclusion, suicide is certainly a difficult issue with its fair share of potential landmines, but it is so prevalent in our culture that it needs to be addressed. As Christians, we need not shy away from it or resort to the world’s empty optimism. We are to be ready at all times to give an account for the hope we have in the Gospel, and that hope is strong enough to defeat even the darkest suicidal thoughts. No temptation is too strong for us to withstand with the help of God—not even suicidal thoughts. God is faithful to give us a way to either escape or endure those thoughts (1 Corinthians 10:13). Jesus Christ has defeated death, so our only hope of defeating thoughts of death is by trusting in Him.
For we do not want you to be unaware, brothers, of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead. He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again.
-2 Corinthians 1:8-10, ESV
SOME HELPFUL RESOURCES
Desiring God Articles on Suicide
NOTES
[1] Edward T. Welch, Depression: Looking Up from the Stubborn Darkness, Greensboro, NC: New Growth Press: 2011: 178.
[2] Jay E. Adams, The Christian Counselor’s Manual: The Practice of Nouthetic Counseling, Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan: 1973: 45.
[3] Edward T. Welch, Depression: Looking Up from the Stubborn Darkness, Greensboro, NC: New Growth Press: 2011: 181.
