Building God’s Kingdom Through Family
The LORD said to Abram, after Lot had separated from him, “Lift up your eyes and look from the place where you are, northward and southward and eastward and westward, for all the land that you see I will give to you and to your offspring forever. I will make your offspring as the dust of the earth, so that if one can count the dust of the earth, your offspring also can be counted. Arise, walk through the length and the breadth of the land, for I will give it to you.”
-Genesis 13:14-17, ESV
When I visited Prague years ago, I was struck by the abundance of beautiful old churches throughout the city—beautiful and empty. At the time I visited, 80% of Czechs were atheist or agnostic. It was sadly ironic that a place so central to the pre-Reformation would now be so devoid of the truth of the Gospel, that the church flanking a large statue of Jan Hus and the cathedral entombing the devout King Wenceslas had essentially been reduced to museums. I couldn’t help but think of a line from Nietzsche’s “The Parable of the Madman”: “What after all are these churches now if they are not the tombs and sepulchers of God?”.[1] That problem is not exclusive to Europe. During my commute, I drive by some lovely old New England churches, each marked as a tomb by such headstones as a Pride flag, Black Lives Matter banner, or some other indicator if inclusivity. Churches in America and Europe are dying, particularly the mainline denominations. Despite this (and in some ways because of it), we should not lose hope but should follow God’s direction to Abram in Genesis 13 and lift up our eyes. In doing so, we can avoid discouragement by looking above our own circumstances to see how God works both globally and generationally as well as how that applies to our lives today.
Look Up Across the Land
We can draw parallels between our own context and Abraham’s. In Genesis 12, God first made a promise to Abraham (Abram at the time) in the land of Haran. From Genesis 11 and 12, we see that after his brother Haran died, Abraham looked after Haran’s son Lot, so when God first speaks to Abraham, Lot was essentially part of his family:
Now the LORD said to Abram, “Go from your country and your kindred and your father’s house to the land that I will show you. And I will make of you a great nation, and I will bless you and make your name great, so that you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and him who dishonors you I will curse, and in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed.”
-Genesis 12:1-3, ESV
Here, God promises to give Abraham a heritage, land, descendants, and immense blessing. So Abraham and his nephew Lot journey from Haran to Canaan, but by Genesis 13, this promise seems further away. The limited land they occupied could not support them both, so they separated. Lot chose what was appealing by earthly wisdom but detrimental spiritually: the fertile yet evil land of Sodom. Thus, Abram’s family was getting smaller, not larger. It was in this context that God essentially repeated His promise. In Genesis 13:14-17, God tells Abram to look all around him because He would give him all of the land he could see. As Christendom seems to be failing in the West, it is tempting for us to conclude that the Kingdom of God is in retreat rather than advancing. But if we lift up our eyes and look past the West, we would see that nothing could be further from the truth. Far from a retreat, Christianity is not only advancing but exploding in Africa and Asia. F. Lionel Young III recently observed how the increasingly global and ethnically diverse nature of the Church today is so profound that it is making us rethink our paradigm of the “global north” as the spiritual haves and the “global south” as the spiritual have-nots. In fact, Dr. Gina A. Zurlo observed that in 2020: “A typical Christian today is a non-white woman living in the global South, with lower-than-average levels of societal safety and proper health care. This represents a vastly different typical Christian than that of 100 years ago, who was likely a white, affluent European”. Two thousand years ago, Jesus gave His disciples a mission to carry the Gospel to the ends of the earth (Matthew 28:19-20). In that time, Christianity has expanded from 120 people in Jerusalem to the largest religion in the world. While there have been ups and downs, the Church has been growing and advancing steadily since then, so we have no reason to believe that trend that has lasted two millennia will reverse now.
But even in the West, there is reason for hope. When we look at the decline of many churches, particularly in mainline denominations, it is right to observe like Nietzsche that the empty churches are tombs and sepulchers, but we must disagree that God is entombed there. Instead, these empty churches are tombs of a dead religion, a false god that bears little resemblance to the God of the Bible. By replacing the Gospel with a watered-down version that elevated social change and the values of society above Christ, they lost their first love, so as He did with Ephesus, God has removed their lampstand (Revelation 2:4-5). Many evangelical churches have also replaced the true Gospel with a false one, emphasizing emotional experiences and watering down the Gospel to make it relevant and palatable for the culture. The result is a fake man-centered gospel that portrays God as weak and harmless, completely neglecting His sovereignty, justice, and righteousness. In conforming the church to the culture, they have given up their distinction and thus competitive advantage.
Businesses do the same thing when they abandon their competitive edge to chase the latest fad, as Blackberry did when faced with competition from the iPhone. As a result, the phone that at one time ruled the business world is no more, replaced by an app on business and government iPhones.[2] Any business must persistently focus on what sets them apart from their competition, which Jim Collins referred to as “the hedgehog principle” in Good to Great.[3] Business failure comes when that distinction is abandoned to chase after “shiny objects”. For the Church, the Gospel is what sets us apart, so sacrificing the Gospel to chase after fads can only be detrimental. The World will always outdo the Church in concerts, motivational speeches, political action, and everything else but the Gospel just Blackberry could never make a better iPhone than the iPhone. Only the Gospel is the power of God for salvation (Romans 1:16), so the Church must focus on the Gospel.
Fortunately, while churches that have abandoned the Gospel to go after the fads of culture are predictably failing, there is steady growth in churches that have maintained their focus on the Gospel. I have noticed in my lifetime a significant increase in Reformed theology, hunger for depth of Scriptural understanding, and a seriousness to obey Scripture that I did not see in childhood. This is very positive, verifying that what lies entombed in dying churches is not the true Gospel, which is alive and well, even in the West. So when we lift up our eyes and look at the growth of true Christianity in the world around us, we have ample reason to hope as Abraham did.
Look Up to Future Generations
Along with the promise of land in Genesis 13:14-17, God also told Abram that He would give him enumerable descendants. Like the promise of land, this too seemed fleeting. It was something like two decades between the promise of Genesis 13 and the birth of Isaac in Genesis 21. Even then, of all of Abraham’s children, only Isaac was faithful to God. Isaac had a similar experience, with only Jacob being faithful to God. Abraham and Isaac may have wondered if God would fulfill His promise at all, since only one faithful son at a time could not produce the enumerable descendants God had promised. Every Christian in every generation could make the same observation, but this should come as no surprise since Jesus repeatedly said that the Kingdom of God will come about slowly. The Kingdom of God is compared to a seed and leaven, both of which start small but grow slowly and organically. Thus, like Abraham we have to look up beyond our own generation, recognizing that God is working across generations, causing the Church to advance the Gospel to the entire world. This cannot be accomplished in any of our lifetimes, but it is not only commanded but worthwhile to direct our efforts to advance toward that end. Thus, we like Abraham must adopt an infinite mindset in which the Gospel is our Just Cause.[4]
Generations only come about through families, so God’s work across generations is done through families. This also explains why Satan and those enslaved by him fight so vehemently against families. Abortion, homosexuality, transgenderism, and environmentalism that pushes population control are all attempts by Satan to thwart God’s work of advancing His kingdom through families. The same can be said of his attacks on marriage by encouraging divorce, pornography, selfishness and immaturity, careerism, feminism, and the abandonment of masculinity and femininity. Therefore, Christians need to thwart these attacks by obeying God in working to advance His Kingdom through their families.
This starts with a multigenerational perspective. Despite all that is recorded in Scripture about Isaac, Jacob, and Joseph (Genesis 21-50), the Hall of Faith in Hebrews 11 only mentions Isaac blessing Jacob and Esau, Jacob blessing Joseph’s sons, and Joseph hoping in the future exodus long after his death (Hebrews 11:20-22). The faith for which these patriarchs were commended was a trust in what God would do through them far beyond their own lifespans. Therefore, as Christians, we have to consider that our greatest contribution and service to the Kingdom may not be what we do at all but our children. When we contemplate how God may be calling us to serve Him and advance His Kingdom, we must adopt a multigenerational view.
I was struck with this realization recently. While I am still single, I had previously decided that if I ever do pursue marriage, I would want to discern that the two of us would have what I will call (at the risk of using a corporate buzzword) spiritual synergy. Often misunderstood as “the whole is more than the sum of the parts”, synergy is better defined by the contributions from relationships being greater than the contributions of individuals.[5] So spiritual synergy would mean that we could glorify God and advance His Kingdom more effectively together than separately. But this view is still too myopic, focusing on the current generation while completely ignoring future generations. If a couple were to raise even one godly child, the math on which scenario would glorify God and advance His Kingdom more begins to favor marriage in most cases. If we adopt a further multigenerational view and assume that child raises even one godly child who raises a godly child (and so forth), the math becomes very lopsided in favor of marriage. Therefore, the greatest contribution of most Christians to the Kingdom will be raising children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4). Certainly, many great saints like Augustine, Luther, Calvin, Edwards, and Spurgeon have been used mightily of God long after their deaths through their writings, but that is the exception, not the rule. Most Christians will advance the Kingdom most by faithfully raising their families.
As a single man with no children, this could lead me to despair that I can never be as effective for the Kingdom as saints who raise faithful children. But not all children are physical, which is evident from the other time God told someone to lift his eyes and look at the Promised Land. Just before Israel entered the Promised Land, God told Moses to climb to the top of a mountain east of the Jordan, possibly opposite where He had made His promise to Abram over five centuries earlier in Genesis 13:
Go up to the top of Pisgah and lift up your eyes westward and northward and southward and eastward, and look at it with your eyes, for you shall not go over this Jordan. But charge Joshua, and encourage and strengthen him, for he shall go over at the head of this people, and he shall put them in possession of the land that you shall see.
-Deuteronomy 3:27-28, ESV
Because Moses had sinned, he was unable to enter the Promised Land but was told by God to prepare Joshua to complete the work that Moses could not. Joshua was not a physical child of Moses, but he could be considered the spiritual child of Moses. Similarly, a man who had no children made perhaps the biggest impact on the Kingdom of God other than Jesus Himself: the Apostle Paul. Had he been married with children, there is no way he could have done what he did, so God used his singleness to advance the Kingdom in ways not otherwise possible. But Paul was not really childless. He calls both Timothy (1 Corinthians 4:16, 1 Timothy 1:2), Titus (Titus 1:4), and Onesimus (Philemon 10) his spiritual children, so he poured himself into training and equipping them. In a way we are all spiritual children of Paul as we are guided by His letters, both to know Christ and to obey Him. Therefore, for some Christians, God would have them advance His Kingdom through spiritual rather than physical children. Still, the main way that Christ builds His Kingdom is through families over many generations, so that is where our emphasis should be.
Practical Application
With the state of families today, this call to emphasize the growth of the Kingdom of God through families is daunting. Still, there are several things we can do right now.
Pray for Families. The first thing we can all do right now is to pray for families—our own, the families in our churches and nation, and even future families. We should pray especially for the families of our pastors, since they are often under intense attack from the world, Satan, and even church members.
Equip the Saints for Family Ministry. We often think of ministry as what pastors and missionaries do, but Scripture teaches that they equip all the saints for ministry (Ephesians 4:11-12). In this case, that means churches need to equip parents and future parents (especially fathers) for ministry to their children. If the primary means of advancing the Kingdom is through godly families, churches would be wise to invest in equipping godly families. Christian parents need to understand the Gospel and theology well enough to instruct their children in it. Churches need to teach parents how to teach their children, how to conduct family worship, and how to use tools such as catechisms to help their children understand the truths of Scripture. I created my theology page to help equip the saints for ministry, including parents for their ministry at home.
Embrace and Teach Biblical Masculinity and Femininity. Scripture clearly teaches that the distinction between men and women is both good and necessary. Therefore, the church must go far beyond rejecting transgenderism by presenting ourselves as the gender God created us. We must embrace the different roles that God has assigned to us in Genesis 2. God has assigned husbands to lovingly and sacrificially lead their households. God holds men responsible for their households whether they accept that responsibility or not. God has called wives to support their husbands so that together they can glorify God and advance His Kingdom, reflecting the relationship between Christ and the Church (Ephesians 5:21-33). I explain the concept of submission in my leadership paper, but for now I must stress that the wife’s submission is voluntary and selective. Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood is a great resource here, as are the books (and documentaries) It’s Good to Be a Man and Eve in Exile from Canon. The bottom line is that families will be healthiest when operating as God designed, meaning when men and women fulfill their distinct and complementary roles. Therefore, we must resist the temptation to side with the world in viewing biblical masculinity as toxic and biblical femininity as demeaning. Instead, we should proudly display the beauty of godly masculinity and femininity.
Involve the Children. If God builds His Kingdom through families, it is important for all of us, whether single or married, to participate in helping children to grow in the knowledge and discipline of the Lord. In addition to teaching them the truths of Scripture, we should involve them in the life of the church, even “big church”. They should desire to serve in the church, and their help should be encouraged and allowed when appropriate, even if that “help” produces more work in the short term. Remember, the multigenerational view can help us see that the benefit of encouraging them to serve in the church outweighs the inconvenience it places on us in the short term. Also, kids often understand more than we realize, so it is important to go beyond shallow stories to teach them actual doctrines. Catechisms are a great way to do this, as are songs. Brian Sauvé is currently combining the two by creating songs to help children learn the Westminster Shorter Catechism. Finally, children need to see their parents and other adults around them faithfully following Jesus, spending time in Scripture and in prayer, fellowshipping together, participating in both corporate and family worship, and setting the example of godliness.
Depend on God to Build His Kingdom. In all of this, we must remember that while we participate in advancing God’s Kingdom, ultimately God is the one building it. Therefore, we must trust in God to accomplish what He has promised in His ways and in His timing.
Conclusion
All in all, God has chosen to build His Kingdom slowly and gradually through families, so we need to lift our eyes above our current circumstances to perceive both the global and multigenerational scope of God’s work. This will not only redirect our focus to the Gospel and its application to our families but also greatly encourage us as we look past our own dire circumstances to what God has been working on since giving Adam and Eve the Cultural Mandate. God is building His Church, and He will be successful, so let’s throw ourselves into that work that He has invited us into.
For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.
-Ephesians 3:14-21, ESV
NOTES
[1] Friedrich Nietzsche, The Gay Science (1882, 1887) para. 125; Walter Kaufmann ed. (New York: Vintage, 1974), 181-182.
[2] Simon Sinek, The Infinite Game, Portfolio: 2019: 171-172.
[3] Jim Collins, Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap…And Others Don’t, New York: HarperCollins: 2001, chapter 5.
[4] Simon Sinek, The Infinite Game, Portfolio: 2019, chapters 1-2.
[5] Derived from Russell L. Ackoff, Creating the Corporate Future, New York, NY: John Wiley & Sons: 1981: 18.
