A Culture of Honor
In this series, I take our law homily from our church gathering each week (The law homily is where we read from the law of God and let His law examine our hearts so that we can be a tender-hearted and repenting people), and I post them here for your edification. Here is this week’s law homily on the prohibition against mental idolatry.
A CULTURE OF HONOR
12 "Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the Lord your God gives you. - Exodus 20:12
Today, we leave the first table of the law for six weeks, which is primarily focused on how we are to love and honor God, and move into the second table of the law, commandments 5-10, which are focused on how we care for love, and honor our fellow man.
And the bedrock command in this table, the foundational and cornerstone command on which the entire second table is established, is that we are to be a people who honor our Fathers and mothers.
Now, we must understand what fathers and mothers mean. We are most certainly speaking about our biological fathers and mothers on the first layer. In this more obvious sense, every child in this room must obey their human parents. Not only that, you must speak kindly to and about your parents, you must show deference to them, you must prioritize their will and opinion over your own, you must refuse to raise your voice, act in a sassy manner, or willfully ignore their instructions as well as willfully disobeying them. So long as what your mother and father have said is not a sin, you are morally and spiritually required to obey them.
And that obedience or disobedience does not come without blessings and curses. For all who would endeavor to live in respect and obedience to their mother and father, long life in the land is promised, which means that (generally speaking) God will elongate the life of the boy or girl and will also elongate the life of the society that sets about obeying this command. And the reason, of course, is simple. The foundation of a spiritually healthy home, a vibrant community, and a morally thriving nation begins in this most critical relationship between parents and their children. But it goes even beyond that!
It applies to adults showing deference and honor to their parents, to children showing deference and honor to their grandparents, and to an attitude of charity and respect that should accompany any of us when we are speaking to our elders, both in terms of their years or in terms of their position.
For instance, when you bad mouth your boss in that group chat, you dishonor your father and mother. Because in your job, your sovereign Lord has made your boss a father and a mother in your life. You must obey them and do whatever they tell you with joyful delight, building them up and supporting them in anything but sin. This means if your boss tells you to lie, you respectfully decline. If your boss tells you to cover up a crime, support pride month in June, or take a vaccine you cannot take in good faith, you respectfully show them the honor befitting their position, and you decline in a God-honoring way. But, if your boss tells you something you disagree with, and there is no sin involved, only your preference for how a thing is done, you should swallow your pride and obey your elders in the company. This is a part of honoring your Father and Mother, whether that involves authority in the home or authority in the world.
This also applies in the church. God installs Fathers in the church called elders. And those elders, like your human father, have to stand before God for the things they say, teach, and how they lead. They will be in grievous sin if they lead you in sinful ways, and the Lord deals with leaders harshly when they err. However, one way you can err is to adopt a divisive attitude toward your pastors, elders, or deacons. To fight with them in whatever they teach. To roll your eyes and say that is not what that means! To speak poorly about your leaders, slander them, or be combative with them. In the same way that a child is to approach a father and a mother, everyone in the Lord's Church is to approach their elders and deacons because the Lord has established them as a good and righteous authority in your life. And while all of your elders and deacons are imperfect men who make mistakes, they are not required to lead perfectly before you show them honor. You show them honor even if they do not deserve it. Why? Because it pleases and honors the Lord!
This is why the Westminster Larger Catechism says this about the fifth command:
"By father and mother, in the fifth commandment, are meant, not only natural parents, but all superiors in age and gifts; and especially such as, by God's ordinance, are over us in place of authority, whether in family, church, or commonwealth."
What this is teasing out is that we must be a people of honor. We must be the kind of people who honor the ones that the Lord has given charge over us. By doing this, we honor the Lord. By refusing to do this, we dishonor the Lord and stray from His commands.
So, children, the call this morning is for you to repent! Repent of the sassy tones, repent of the sideways glares and eye rolls, repent of the conversation you had with your sister or brother on how unfair mom or dad is, repent of the conversation you had in your head about how much you despise their instruction, repent of the bitterness you feel, repent of living without charity and respect, every child in this room should by now have something to repent about.
And workers, all of those who have jobs that you go to. Repent for those things you said about your boss that the Lord God has sovereignly put over you. Repent of the mean things you said, repent of the ways you were sarcastic to him, repent of the phone call you had about him behind his back, the gossip, the slander, the mockery, the political calculations to replace him, every time you ignored his plan, or did not implement his goals, or did not labor for his honor, and did not work to be the most respectful and joyful employee in his office. Repent of that. And if he has not earned your respect, repent of that attitude. Because God did not call us to only respect the respectable, he told us to be at peace with all men and to honor our elders. This is why Paul says in Romans 13:7, "Render to all what is due them: tax to whom tax is due; custom to whom custom; fear to whom fear; honor to whom honor." This is why Paul also says in Ephesians 6:5-8: "Slaves, be obedient to those who are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling, in the sincerity of your heart, as to Christ; not by way of eyeservice, as men-pleasers, but as slaves of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart. With good will render service, as to the Lord, and not to men, knowing that whatever good thing each one does, he will receive back from the Lord, whether slave or free." So, therefore, repent! Repent of whatever way you have run afoul of the man the Lord has sovereignly placed over you. Repent here today before the Lord. Repent in your heart and be determined to kill those sinful emotions that lead you to sin against your employer or that authority in your life. And repent in your volition, by not only repenting of what you did but in the power of the Holy Spirit, choosing to turn away from your sin and live differently from this day forward.
To all the wives, repent of the lack of charity you have shown your husband. Repent of the cutting remarks, the hate-filled eye cuts, that time recently when you demeaned him, mocked His masculinity, threatened divorce, or disrespected him with your mind, heart, or lips. A disrespectful attitude towards him is a disrespectful attitude towards the Lord, who gave you a husband to lead you and care for you. And if he is not leading and does not seem to be caring for you, do not use his sin as an opportunity to add sin on top of sin. You show your love for God by the honor you give to your husband. You give God the glory, even if your husband is a world-class sinner, because, as Peter says, this kind of love and respect is very precious to God.
And to all who are in the Lord's Church. There will come a thousand times where you will disagree with something I have said, of that Derrick and Dan have said, or any elder in your life has said. I would charge you to look past the man who is leading. I am not a perfect father nor a perfect pastor; I am nowhere near a perfect man. I lack in so many areas of my life. I would not blame you in the flesh if you found it challenging to honor me, Derrick, or Dan. Truthfully, I do not call you to honor us because, as men, we need you to cheerlead us, pump us up, or whatever else. I call upon you to honor the office of elder because God has chosen who will serve you and lead you, and to be divisive or dishonoring to the office of elder is to dishonor Christ Himself. Because your pastors, elders, and deacons are performing the role of Christ to you, just as a husband performs the role of Christ to His bride, how a parent performs the role of Christ to their children, or a boss, president, or any other authority performs the role of Christ in every sphere of life.
You will come across men and women who play that role poorly. But you are not commanded to obey only the ones who perform it well. We, all of us, are commanded to be a people of honor. Showing honor and reverence to each other so that our days as men, our days as a society, and our days as a church will be long upon the earth.
In whatever way you have dishonored any authority in your life, would you use this time to repent? And, at the same, time, would you meditate on Jesus Christ, the only one who perfectly honored His Father, so that by His finished work on the cross, and His sending of the Holy Spirit, He is making us into a people of honor once more. Confess your sins and rest in Him.
