The words of King Lemuel. An oracle that his mother taught him: What are you doing, my son? What are you doing, son of my womb? What are you doing, son of my vows? Do not give your strength to women, your ways to those who destroy kings. It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine, or for rulers to take strong drink, lest they drink and forget what has been decreed and pervert the rights of all the afflicted. 6 Give strong drink to the one who is perishing, and wine to those in bitter distress; let them drink and forget their poverty and remember their misery no more. Open your mouth for the mute, for the rights of all who are destitute. Open your mouth, judge righteously, defend the rights of the poor and needy.

-Proverbs 31:1-9, ESV

When looking for leadership lessons in Scripture, I doubt Proverbs 31 would come to mind for most people.  Most Christians associate Proverbs 31 with one thing: its description of the excellent wife.  I did refer to that description in my leadership paper when discussing what the Bible teaches about women in leadership in the workplace, but aside from that its application to leaders in general is not immediately clear. In truth, the description of the excellent wife is the second of two sections of Proverbs 31.  The often-overlooked first nine verses of Proverbs 31 are an oracle about how to approach the responsibilities of kingship, but it can be applied to any type of leadership.  In addition to political leaders (Romans 13), God has appointed husbands to lead their homes and fathers assisted by mothers to lead their children (Ephesians 5:22-6:4), pastors to lead local churches assisted by deacons (1 Timothy 3, 1 Peter 5), and supervisors to lead in the workplace (Ephesians 6:5-9).  But since leadership is really about influence, everyone can lead in informal ways, which means that Scripture’s exhortations for leaders are applicable to all of us.  Therefore, leaders in all walks of life would be wise to heed the warnings of this three-thousand-year-old oracle. 

Before we can apply this oracle to leaders in general, we need to understand its context.  Proverbs 31:1 describes this as the oracle of a certain King Lemuel that was taught to him by his mother.  There is debate over who this Lemuel was.  Some think it was another name for Solomon while others believe he was a foreign king.  Regardless, it is clearly something that this king was taught this oracle by his wise mother to help him remember the most important aspects of being a king.  As such, she likely taught it to him from a young age, and the fact that it is recorded in Scripture as his words rather than hers shows that he remembered it well, so her lesson was effective.  Earlier in Proverbs, Solomon exhorts his son to not forsake his mother’s teaching (Proverbs 1:8, 6:20), and this son clearly did that by learning this oracle well enough to remember it and seeing it as important enough to pass on to others.  And since the Holy Spirit inspired this like all others passages of Scripture, we know that it was recorded for our instruction (Romans 15:4), so this oracle is just as much for us as it was for this mysterious king.

A Call to Caution

The oracle begins with a single phrase repeated three times in verse 2: “what are you doing?”.  Before looking at this phrase, it is important to note that each time it appears in verse 2, it is followed by a statement of affection from this mother to her son.  Thus, it comes from a place of great love care from a mother who wants what is best for her son, which motivates her to warn him of potential pitfalls of kingship, so she repeats the phrase “what are you doing?”.  This phrase is used by Moses’ father-in-law Jethro before the latter offered his wise and necessary advice (Exodus 18:14).  It would also be used later by God to question why Elijah had fled to Horeb (1 Kings 19:9,13) and by Nehemiah when rebuking the returned exiles (Nehemiah 13:17).  When we combine this with the statement that no one can ask that question of God (Ecclesiastes 8:4), it is clear that this statement is a precursor to correcting bad or unwise behavior.  Undoubtedly every mother has said this phrase countless times when her children are deviating from wise behavior.  The exhortation is for the child to pause and consider his or her actions, so that is what this mother is telling her royal son: stop and consider your actions. 

This is important for all people but especially for leaders.  The more powerful and influential leaders are, the more likely their words and actions are to have unintended consequences.  An off-handed comment can be taken as direction that the leader never intended, resulting in wasteful effort by subordinates trying to do what they think the leader wants.  Regardless of the level of leadership, every leader makes decisions that affect other people.  Growing up, my pastor would frequently say that there are only three things that are eternal: God, His Word, and people.  Leadership roles are temporary, but every leader is entrusted by God for a time with caring for people who He made in His image.  Therefore, it is of utmost importance for leaders to stop and consider the affects their decisions might have on those people God has entrusted to their care.  Scripture is clear that leaders will have to give an account to God for how they cared for the people God entrusted to them (Ephesians 6:9).  But the more important application for leaders is to stop and think of the ethical implications of their actions, which is what the rest of the oracle is about.  Leadership is about making decisions, which puts leaders into a position where opportunities for ethical compromise will arise, which leads to the first specific exhortation of this oracle.

Do Not Give Your Strength to Women

This mother’s first exhortation is for her son to avoid giving his strength to women (verse 3).  She even goes so far as to say that this is what destroys (literally “wipes out”) kings.  In the immediate context, she is cautioning against the common practice of kings of the day to have large harems.  While the Law forbid this in Israel (Deuteronomy 17:17), even the great kings of Israel fell prey to it.  It was Solomon’s undoing (1 Kings 11:1-4), so if Lemuel was Solomon he ultimately did not heed his mother’s advice in this area.  While it would be accurate to caution against this because it is a gross distortion of God’s design for marriage—which I briefly examine here—the reason given here is much more practical.  Lemuel’s mother is cautioning her son against spending energy pursuing women that he should be using to wisely govern the nation, warning that they would destroy him.  This is in stark contrast to the excellent wife later in the chapter who does her husband good and not harm (Proverbs 31:12), so faithfulness in marriage is encouraged not discouraged here.  Leaders today may want to ignore this warning since our culture is vastly different from the ancient Near East.  But this warning applies equally to mistresses, hookups, secret lovers, and other unprofessional relationships, making it extremely relevant today.  In season 5, episode 5 of the Crown, the affair between then-Prince Charles and Camilla Parker-Bowles is made public, resulting in disgrace for both and two destroyed marriages.  Considering that as far as we can tell Queen Elizabeth and Prince Phillip were faithful to one another throughout seven decades of marriage, their son’s infidelity would have been very hurtful to them.  About halfway through the episode is one of the most memorable moments of the series for me, where Phillip scolds his son sternly about his affair and the impact it has on the royal family and the nation.  In the process, he prompts Charles to recite the motto of the Royal Regiment of Wales of which Charles as Prince of Wales was honorary head: “Better death than dishonor”.  Phillip then responds, “A sentiment on which you would do well to reflect” before kicking Charles out of the room.  Charles had given his strength to women and suffered disgrace as a result.

But this caution is not only for members of the royal family.  Whether government or private sector, many if not most leaders who destroy their reputations do so through unprofessional and unwise sexual relationships.  It is so common that whenever I see a story of a military commander being relieved of command due to a generic lack of confidence in his or her leadership, I automatically assume the real reason is an unprofessional relationship, though abuse of authority and improper use of funds (embezzling in the private sector) are also common reasons for a commander’s removal.  They like the ancient kings gave their strength to various personal pleasures and were destroyed as a result.  If Lemuel is Solomon, then his mother Bathsheba saw this firsthand, as the strife of David’s family was a direct result of his polygamy.  All leaders must be vigilant to avoid a similar fate.  This is especially true in good times.  As I discussed last time, we must take special care to avoid temptations in times of blessing, since we are naturally less vigilant in times of blessing than in times of adversity.  It is very easy for leaders who have worked hard to get to their position to then think that they deserve certain perks, even if those perks are unethical.  Instead, all leaders should echo and live by the motto “Better death than dishonor”.

Maintain Sobriety

Lemuel’s mother then states that kings should not drink alcohol in excess (verse 4), giving the reason that it would cause them to forget what was decreed (verse 5).  This could mean either what the king had already decreed or some higher law to which the king was also subject.  Either way, the point is that kings have a responsibility to make wise and just decrees, so they must avoid anything that may cloud their judgment.  Scripture is replete with examples of drunk people in positions of power making unwise and disastrous decisions (1 Samuel 25:36, 1 Kings 16:9,20:16, Daniel 5:23).  In contrast, Lemuel’s mother says that alcohol should instead be for “the one who is perishing” and in “bitter distress” (verse 6) so that they can forget their poverty and misery (verse 7).  It is important to note that these verses to not condone drunkenness, as other parts of Scripture clearly condemn it (Proverbs 20:1, 1 Corinthians 5:21, Ephesians 5:18).  What Lemuel’s mother is saying is that alcohol when properly used can help dull immense pain and thus alleviate suffering for common people.  But these people do not have the same responsibility as kings to constantly offer sound judgments.  The ramifications of a normal person having dulled mental faculties from drinking are far less severe than a king whose rash statement while drunk can have long lasting and widespread impact.  Thus any leader is wise to avoid drunkenness.

But this exhortation must extend beyond alcohol to include anything that may cloud a leader’s judgment.  This includes substances like drugs but it can also include anything that distracts a leader from his or her responsibilities.  The bottom line is that all leaders should be sober when approaching their role (ref James 3:1), knowing that God will hold them accountable for how well they executed their duties and took care of the people created in His image that He entrusted to them.  Substances or other pleasurable diversions can distract leaders from this immense responsibility and cause them to be derelict in it.  The responsibility of leadership is too great to open the door to its neglect with substances or other guilty (or even innocent) pleasures.  The wicked shepherds in Ezekiel 34 are chastised for feeding themselves rather than the sheep, so God promises judgment on them, including taking away the sheep He has entrusted to them and putting them under the Good Shepherd who would adequately care for them.  If Christian leaders in all spheres are to imitate Christ, we must similarly care for our people above ourselves, including ensuring our mental faculties are keen in order to make the best decisions to care for them.

Do Justice

Finally, Lemuel’s mother charges him to proactively rule justly in support of the less fortunate—the mute, destitute, poor, and needy (verses 8 and 9).  She is telling him to take special care to protect those who can’t protect themselves by ensuring justice is done to them.  And since she twice says “open your mouth”, his advocacy for them must be proactive.  This is in contrast to the substance-abuse-enabled negligence that causes kings to “pervert the rights of all the afflicted” (verse 5).  Scripture is full of statements describing God’s special care for the weak and vulnerable, including severe judgments against those who oppress, exploit, or even neglect them.  Leaders must therefore take special care to ensure their decisions help care for those less fortunate, including preventing their oppression.  But this doesn’t mean that leaders must always decide in their favor either (Exodus 22:3).  Instead, Lemuel’s mother charges him to judge righteously while defending the rights of the poor and needy (verse 9).  All leaders are charged with issuing judgments and resolving disputes in various ways, so this is an important reminder for all leaders to ensure they issue these judgments righteously.  This includes being careful to hear all sides and gather adequate evidence to ensure a just decision.  In this, it is especially important to speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves. 

Ultimately, this oracle of King Lemuel’s mother could be summed up as three warnings against the improper use of authority.  I have previously covered the topic of authority in some detail, describing how God gives us authority for the purpose of obeying Him and caring for the people He has entrusted to us.  Therefore, if we disobey Him we are acting outside of our authority.  This oracle tells us we must use our God-given authority to ensure justice and righteousness rather than abusing it on personal pleasures.  We must approach our responsibilities with sobriety, not allowing any substances or distractions to compromise our ability to make wise decisions that benefit those God has placed in our care.  Finally, we must overcome any temptation to ethical compromise that gratifies our own desires—whether sexual or otherwise—so that we can focus our energy on serving those in our care.  In doing this, we follow the advice from three millennia ago that the Holy Spirit inspired a mother to teach her kingly son.  But even more than that, when we follow that advice, we imitate the King of Kings who did not give up his strength to women but sought out His only Bride, let nothing distract Him from His mission but set His face like flint toward the cross, and did not neglect or mistreat the poor and needy but acted in perfect righteousness to meet the ultimate need of all of us who are spiritually needy: salvation from our sin.  It is only by His help that we can follow His example, so the Christian leader must humbly and prayerfully approach the immense responsibility of leadership.  If asked what we are doing, we should be able to honestly respond that we are following the Good Shepherd.

He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?

-Micah 6:8, ESV