Listen to this blog on The PRODCAST.

ACT LIKE MEN

There is a masculinity crisis in the modern world. And what I mean by that is not neanderthalian, fart contest winning, beer bonging, grab happy, chest bumping caricatures of manhood that we have all been conditioned to accept as normative. Anyone can grow up to become a big-bodied mass with a penis… What I am talking about is men. Real men. Biblical men. And we need them now more than ever. 

We need that same kind of iron clad warrior who bravely sounded the alarm nearly 200 years ago, against the coming plague of feminism, but the world was far too foolish to listen to them. Now, instead, we are the recipients of an emasculated world, where men appear in dresses on magazine covers, and the perverted laud them for their courage. We need real men. And let me clear, sinful masculinity is equally toxic as well. This post is about Biblical, godly, creation-ordered, manhood… Now, after a heart amen, I assume you are ready to continue? Well enough…

After decades of manlessness, the majority of men find themselves in the peculiar position of having no real clue what Biblical masculinity looks like. And frankly it is not their fault. Most men did not have fathers, grandfathers, pastors, mentors, or godly masculine men in their life, as they were growing up, so they have little to no vision of what that even looks like. And because of that, the next generation of boys will be just as blind as we all were when it is their turn to be at the helm. 

For this reason, we need a revival of true masculinity. We need a return to God, a return to His Word, and a return to the God-blessed realm of what true manhood can offer the world, which God Himself called very good and blessed. And when we do that, we can change the world.

I would say many, if not most, of the problems plaguing this culture and especially the church have to do with failed masculinity, and weak, impotent, emasculated men. If that is true, then producing a new culture of Biblical, Christ-like, servant men will be an undeniable blessing, not only to the church, but to the entire world. Just as all ships in a harbor are lifted by the rising tide, all people will be benefited by the rise of a Biblically faithful culture of men. 

No more excuses. It is time for us to open up our Bibles and get to work. Let’s go!  

Over the next several weeks, we will be looking at 6 fundamental characteristics of what it means to be a godly man. We will speak frankly, unapologetically, but most importantly Biblically on this topic… And we will call men to imitate the true man, Jesus Christ, as we seek to ACT LIKE MEN, WORSHIP LIKE MEN, LOVE LIKE MEN, FIGHT LIKE MEN, LEAD LIKE MEN, AND BUILD LIKE MEN. 

#1: WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO ACT LIKE MEN?

We begin today by looking at what it means to Act Like Men! 

And there is no better place to begin, than by considering what Paul says in 1 Corinthians 13:11. He says:

When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things.

This verse really does present the entire case for Biblical manhood in two basic words; “grow” and “up!” That’s right, I said it, we need to “grow up!” We need to stop acting like a battalion of lilly flowers, we need to stop thinking in childish ways, and eliminate the immaturity in our speech, and step into the real world of maturity that God designed us to live in! 

But I do not want to speak in generalities here… So, let’s go a step further, just so it is crystal clear what this means. 

In the home, the infant is the purest distillation of ego-centricism on earth. Dads, you may feel like you exist to entertain them. Moms, you definitely have felt like you exist to serve them. It can feel like they believe they are at the center of the universe demanding their every need. 

They act as though their needs are the only needs worth caring about and that they are the only ones who matter. They do not seem to mind at all about screaming during your phone call, interrupting your precious sleep, and they seem totally oblivious to that essential task you were doing. Stop it and feed me, they seem to scream. Stop what you are doing and change me. Stop the things that are important to you and figure out why I am crying… I will stop when you get it right… Essentially the baby lives like his needs matter more than yours, dear mother, and if you do not believe me, it is because you have not yet had one. 

I think God makes them so cute, so that we can’t help but love them. This is especially true for mom’s, who laugh, smile, ooh and ah, even while border on the verge of literal exhaustion and being treated by this baby like no reasonable adult in our life ever would! If you really think about it, and get past all of their cuddly cuteness, they are the most needy, whiny, self-absorbed, time-sucking people in your life! And you love them like no one else. What a beautiful love God has placed into your hear, dear daughter of Eve.

And that is certainly an endearing quality in a helpless babe who needs his mother incessantly for their entire existence, but I am sure you would agree that it is a noseauting quality in your man. No woman on earth wants to be a parent to a child and to a husband… But yet so many women end up feeling like they have adult babies for their spouses. I have heard that message consistently for years. It is a massive burden on a woman who wants to be led by you, to feel like she is the one leading you. And I am not excusing her sin, but your sin is not helping very much either, brother.

There are far too many men who live this way, and apparently did not jump through the necessary hurdles of maturation, only to graduate into manhood with a male body, but a fetal mind. This kind of man acts like their needs are the only ones that matter. They prioritize themselves, their emotions, their wants, their priorities, over everyone else. And they act just as spoiled as the soiled screaming toddler at their feet. The only advantage they seem to have in their manhood, is that they get to have sex with their wives, who struggles more than you realize, with how childish you and I can be.  

Many men have traded in a bottle of milk for a bottle of beer, toddler tantrums for big boy problems, and when they prioritize themselves as the center of their own world, they tell their families and the world to approach them as a babe.  

That is not what real men do. Men grow up. And a pivotal part of growing up is learning how to shift the focus off of yourself and direct your attention to those around you. A man doesn’t need the constant cathartic coddling from wearied overworked wife to boost his fractured ego. A man is not a victim needing a support group, men were created to provide support and care to the groups God gave him! Men are called to wake up, get before their God in worship, get dressed, comb their hair, find a job, make a living, provide for their families and point them to Christ. 

We do not live to serve ourselves. We live to serve others, like Jesus, who came not to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many (Mark 10:45).

A TEST OF YOUR MANHOOD

You will know how well you have matured as a man by how selfless you have become. Infants appear selfish. Men become selfless. Now be honest with yourself and figure out where are you at on that continuum. If you need help ask your wife.

Repent and let’s move forward. 

5 ESSENTIAL QUALITIES OF BIBLICAL MANHOOD

Paul continues this thought in 1 Corinthians 16:13, where he gives five ways that men can act like men! He says:

13 Be on the alert, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. 14 Let all that you do be done in love.

BE ON THE ALERT

When Paul says be on the alert, he is talking to men (called elders) who were tasked with protecting the church. Their job was to be on constant alert to attacks that could come in and damage Jesus’ bride. And because they were men, not selfish but selfless, they spent the necessary time and energy to look out for the needs of the group instead of the needs of themselves. This is how men protect the things that matter to them, by directing their energies to protecting them. 

And while not all men are elders, most men will be husbands and fathers, and all men will have people in their life that matter to them and are worth protecting. Knowing that, we must all live out the character of an elder in our various spheres of people groups that God has assigned us to care for. 

For instance, the primary act of defense you can provide as a husband or dad is spiritual. When the kids want to watch a movie that promotes (or even hints at) homosexuality, you brother, are a bulwark of faithfulness that will not allow that kind filth in your home. You are the one setting the network password, imposing parental controls, having conversations with the children, teaching them, instructing them, and being on the alert for them because they do not yet know how to protect themselves. Threats come into your house over your dead body. That is manly.

And your ministry to them is not entirely cast in the negative. You also sit them down for family worship, you teach them positively how to think Biblically, you help them make wise choices and pursue Christ in all they do… You are the one who is safeguarding their little souls and teaching them how to raise up the next generation of leaders, saints, and worshippers in Christ’s Church! You have an awesome responsibility!

You are also the one who protects the reputation of your wife. You love her, listen to her, care for her, and point her to the Gospel! You are the one who looks after the property and prevents theft. You are the one who sees any offensive threat upon the horizon, whether that is spiritual, cultural, financial, or meteorological and you make the necessary provisions to care for your family.  And do not miss the point, I do not care whether it is a burglar or a snow storm, you are the ones dealing with it so that your dear wife wont have to.

A man who does not protect, provide, and is not on the alert for his family, friends, or the ones he loves is not yet a man. He is still stuck on the continuum of boyhood and this passage is a humble reminder for him to grow up. 

The second aspect of this passage is to:

STAND FIRM IN THE FAITH

Paul does not relegate the spiritual fidelity of our homes, men, to the local church. You, my brother, are the pastor of your home. You are accountable to God for your relationship with God, and any decision you make out of step with God, will be required of you from God. 

You are called to have a life and a relationship with the triune God that is worth imitating by every member of your family. You are called to love God with all of your heart, all of your soul, all of your mind, and all of your strength. And while you are learning and striving in that, you are called to love your closest neighbor on earth - your bride - with the same and even better love that you give to yourself. You are called to invest in her, lead her, show her Christ in your life, open the Scriptures with her regularly, grab her hands and pray with her when she is anxious, listen to her interests, sacrifice for her, and point her to the only one who loves her more than you, and that is Jesus. You invest in her, because while you are gone providing for your family, making an income your clan will live on, she is investing in your children. She is loving them out of the storehouse of what you have given to her. That means if she is consistently loving them on empty, you are failing at your calling.

But, I also want you to remember this, just because your wife is doing a lot of this work at home, it does not absolve you from standing firm in the faith with and for your kids. While your wife will do that more consistently than you, since she will be at home, you are also involved, leading them, worshiping with them, opening the word with them, listening to them, teaching them, and discipling them to do this for your future grandchildren. You are training your daughters in the kind of men you want them to marry. And you are training your sons to be the kind of men worth following.

Remember, a selfish man is not a Biblical man. A Biblical man is someone who is selfless and leads those around them to faithfulness, peace, and love in Christ.

CHECK YOURSELF

The state of a wife and her children is a direct indication or indictment on the man who leads them. Healthy homes testify to good godly fathers. Unhealthy, chaotic, and unloving homes testify to ungodly men who do not yet know how to lead. Look at your life and assess how you are doing, brother? Then, have the courage to repent and try again!

The third aspect Paul is getting at in this passage is to act like men.  

ACT LIKE MEN

This is, of course, a summary statement of what Paul has already said before, but he reminds us that the Biblical expectation for men is consistent Biblical manhood. We do not get days off to act like babies. We have put those childish things away and now we act like men. Consistently, brothers. 

The fourth aspect of essential Biblical manhood is for men to be strong. 

BE STRONG

The expectation for a man is that He is the strong one. Not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually. When tragedy hits the home, he is the life raft his family will cling to for security and strength. He may weep privately over many things, but a man is a rock for his family. His goal in life is not to be emotionally carried by his wife and children, his goal is to carry them. Be strong for them. Be an anchor for them. And to help them navigate the trouble waters of life with his love and provision at the lead. 

Finally, Paul reminds us men about the thing we most often need to be reminded of. He says the fifth, and in some ways the most important aspect of Biblical manhood, is to:

LET ALL YOU DO BE DONE IN LOVE

And just for clarity sake, this is not how society deems or defines love. A man is not responsible to be loving in the ways society propagates and perverts this concept. A man is responsible to be loving in the way God commands it. And there is scarcely a better definition found in the Bible, than what Paul offers just a few chapters before in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. It says: 

4 Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, 5 does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, 6 does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

And this of course brings us full circle. Love is selfless. Love is sacrificial. Love is prioritizing the needs of others as being more important than your own. Love sees others' needs and meets others' needs. 

This of course reminds us, not only of what it means for us to be men, but also of the perfect man, Jesus Christ. Who loved us while we were His enemies. Who put our needs above His own, while dying on a cross that bore our name. He loved us with an immutable kind of love and called us to pick up our crosses and imitate Him in the way we love and care for others. 

Dear men,

your goal in life is not you. Your goal in life is to love and serve Jesus, by also loving the people around you like Jesus. That is what it means to be a man, and that is the kind of consistent, Biblical, godly men that we need now more than ever! 

Until next time, God bless you!