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THE IDEAL MODERN WOMAN

In the spirit of speaking plainly, the last time we were all together on this salty little blog, I decided to tackle one of the most controversial passages in all of the Bible. And the reason that it is so controversial could not be more obvious. The world we live in hates women, and the passage we were looking at celebrates what a woman actually is from the God who lovingly made her. This passage is both refreshing and satisfying to the Christian, who loves God's Word and submits to His designs. It offers us a reason to give glory to the God who designed such a beautiful creature as a woman and endowed her with such meaningful work. To a world that has entirely desecrated femininity, this passage could not be any more patriarchal, restrictive, misogynistic, and dangerous. 

But, a bit about that danger part. From where I sit, the Biblical view of womanhood liberates women. It restrains the kind of vices that destroy women and frees them up to joyfully be who they were originally designed to be. That Scriptural view is good and the cause of deep, satisfying joy to all double x chromosomes humans who adopt the mantle of it. I say it that way because, in the very recent past, common sense has been thrown entirely out the window. Today, any subpar, emasculated, and pathetic loser can prance around in a tutu and call himself a woman. And, sadly, every authentic woman on earth will be forced to celebrate this ugly monstrosity or be punished. 

How about we keep going since the world's view of women is so liberating. The average high school girl will have multiple sexual partners before she graduates high school. None of them will commit to her, provide her security, or covenant to love her for a lifetime. Most of those schools will also help her obtain a secret abortion without her parents knowing… You know, in the name of female health and all. They will teach her through a pornographic curriculum that she is just an animal with animal impulses. They will provide her ample alcohol and drugs, a hook-up culture, and a hundred-plus thousand dollar noose around her neck called university. Then, they will teach her how to suppress her internal feminine desires for family and trade them in for a career and a corner office with a view. By the time our societal bastions of female love give her permission to be married and become a mother, around 35-40 for an increasing number of women, she is in the waning years of her fertility with a man who is just as broken as she is, with the couple more likely to end up as another divorce statistic in the future. 

So there you have it; if you follow the path our woman-hating society has etched out, you will need to embrace a view where women can get testicular cancer, must prioritize everything except covenant marriage and motherhood, and often terminates in disappointed Karens and eccentric cat ladies a couple decades later. If that is a loving view of womanhood, I would never want to know the brutality of hate. 

A BIT FROM THE HEART

I know I can be a bit pungent. If this blog were a cheese variety, it might register on the same shelf as Limburger. This Pepe Le Pew sort of tactic is, oddly enough, by design. We live in very confused times. So confusing, in fact, that hand-holding and emotional coddling won't work any longer. We have liberally scooped heaping shovels full of sugary Christianity and force-fed it to the culture for so long that our society has gone into the equivalent of a diabetic coma as it relates to the Christian faith. 

Instead of that, I write to be salty. I write to incite. As with salt, I write to cause high blood pressure in the docile and maybe a few heart attacks for the ones undergoing moral heart disease. My aim is not to butter anyone up, to pet them, or to leave them having their ego's stroked. If you want that kind of thing, listen to Joel Osteen, Dr. Phil, or any of the other professional ear ticklers we have amassed these days. I write to stir up thoughts and to provoke a reaction that will hopefully get people thinking, wrestling with things, and developing the kind of backbone that will lead to godly men, women, families, and churches standing up for the things of God. 

But, if you would like a "softer side of Sears" approach, here is my heart. I am tired of seeing women damaged by this society. It breaks me when I see one of God's daughters in agony over childlessness because the world told her there will be time for those things later; right now, other things must be the priority. It angers me to see men mistreating Christian women and Christian women behaving like they do not deserve any better. 

Ladies, you are God's daughters. You were made beautiful, royal, and glorious. Please do not listen to the lies Satan has stitched into our culture with a bloody machete. Return back to what the Word says about you. Remember that if you are in Christ, you are forgiven for all your sin. There is now no condemnation for you! That is the Gospel! But, also remember, as you embrace God's view of womanhood for your life, and as you help other women create a new culture that celebrates what a woman truly is, then you will provide your daughters and mine with the kind of environment that you never had. They will grow up without the same wounds, without the same scars, and ready to eagerly build their family up to the glory of God, without all the shame and guilt that our generation brought to the table. 

Some of the things I could say in this blog may wound you. They may make you feel like you failed or did not measure up, and I want you to reject that notion outright! Christ defeated sin and death! He has healed you, washed you white as snow, and put His tiara on your beautiful head. That is glorious! 

But just because God has rescued our generation from such great depths of sin does not mean we should want our daughters swimming in those polluted pools. My goal is that current generations would embrace Biblical manhood and womanhood, even if it does not align with your story so that future generations will have what we did not have. 

To that end, let us dive into Titus 2:3-5 for part two of this blog. (If you want to review part 1, go here)

THE TEXT

3 The older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things— 4 that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed. - Titus 2:3-5 NKJV

WHERE WE HAVE BEEN

As you will remember from last time, the apostle Paul used the word blasphemy when it comes to denying God's view of womanhood. He was saying that if there were any older women, or anyone else for that matter, who was teaching a view of femininity that is contrary to God's vision, then they have blasphemed God's Word (a crime punishable by death in the Old Testament). Yeah, God takes womanhood that seriously. 

Instead of blaspheming God's Word, Paul instructs older women how to come alongside the younger married women in the community. He calls on them to teach the younger women how to love their husbands and their children. Instead of loving them in a purely sacrificial way, which is so common for women, Paul admonishes the young women to become joyful "husband lovers." Paul's goal was not for women to slave away in the kitchen and dutifully serve their families as embittered slaves. On the contrary, he was calling women to be the lifeblood of the home. To fill the atmosphere and the aroma of her castle with abundant mirth, overflowing joy, and infectious delight for all who know her. 

These were the first two of seven essential concepts about womanhood that Paul was teaching, and again, we looked at these things in part 1. This week, in part 2, we look at the final five concepts that the older women are to teach to the younger women so that the Word of God will not be blasphemed. 

Supposing you are still here because you would not like the Word to be blasphemed, I say onward. 

#3 TEACH THEM TO BE "MODERATE"

In addition to husband-loving and child-loving, Paul calls younger married women with children in the community to adopt a moderate lifestyle. The word he uses for sensible in the NKJV above (σώφρων - Soph-ron) really means embracing a life of moderation by living in the middle. He is encouraging women not to find themselves on the polls of things or to live in the extremes but to find her place somewhere in the balanced middle. Paul says if life were like a seesaw, then stand on the pivot point. This contributes to healthy womanhood. 

Now, before anyone can accuse Paul of being a world-class sexist, remember that he just commanded the men to be moderate as well (Titus 2:2). And, when we remember that Paul also gives this character qualification for anyone aspiring to the office of eldership (1 Tim. 3:2; Titus 1:8), we should not view this as being peculiar to women, but simply an excellent quality to cultivate for any human. Paul is not saying that men are more moderate and women have some work to do. He says we are all prone to excess, and both genders need work here. 

For instance, Men are disproportionately prone to the kinds of immoderation that lead to risk-taking, aggressiveness, adventure and merry-making, overworking, accumulating shotguns and rare bottles of whiskey (on the gluttony side of immoderation), and neglecting emotional aptitude, communication, relationship-building, and physical health (on the anorexic side of immoderation). While women can certainly be immoderate in these ways, it is far more likely that a woman will struggle with moderation in spending, emotional overexpression, communication, comparison, dieting, perfectionism (On the high side), and isolation, bitterness, and jealousy (On the low side). 

These are generalizations, but Paul's point in this passage, in particular, is for women to live moderate lives. To be content with that, she has. To avoid excess. To avoid asceticism. To live in the middle. And by doing that, she will live richly and conform to the pattern God has for her. 

#4 TEACH THEM TO BE PURE

Along with moderation, Paul encourages younger women to remain pure and chaste in their behavior and life. Like a young virgin who is keeping herself pure for her future marriage (1 Corinthians 11:2), and the man who sets His mind on the pure truths of God (Philippians 4:8), the godly woman will also keep herself pure in mind, heart, and body within her marriage. She will prioritize holy purity with her God. She will weed out sin, give no occasion for the enemy, and offer to her husband the continual gift of tender, loyal, and loving fidelity for a lifetime. This, of course, will bless and build up womanhood. 

#5 TEACH THEM TO BE WORKERS AT HOME

Some of the strongest language in the Bible has to do with when, where, and how men and women will spend their time. For the man, He must leave the home to gather resources. If he lazily loiters around the house all day, twiddling his thumbs and refusing to go to work and provide for His family, Paul says that man is "worse than an unbeliever" and that he has "denied the faith" (1 Timothy 5:8). Ouch! On the other hand, a wife is called to stay home. And this is not unclear in this text. Paul says if a wife and mother leave their home to join in the rat race, neglecting her house duties, her husband-loving, and all the needs of her children, then she has blasphemed the Word of God. 

The reason Paul speaks this way is because men and women are not the same. We are equal in personhood yet distinct in our roles. As male and female, we have a divinely appointed complementarity in the roles God has given us. Women were designed to stay home, care for the children, and bring life into their halls. Men were called to leave the home in the morning, hunt, fish, till, and toil in order to bring resources back to their wives, who would multiply them for the family's good. 

And while Paul could not state this more clearly than he already did in our text, this has become one of the most hated portions of any Scripture in the canon. Any thoroughgoing, Lime green haired Feminists would object at this point, saying: "What is this the handmaid's tale? What do you mean a woman cannot leave the home? This is very clearly a sick and sadistic patriarchal fueled by toxic masculinity!" This, along with some other mutterings, that are too saucy for a Christian blog. 

To the militant feminist, I would say a wife and a mother must work in and build up her home. But notice what I did not say. I did not say that this applies to all women in all seasons. There are women who still live at home with mothers and fathers who can work outside the home. There are single women who have not yet been married who can save for marriage and family through a job. There are divorced women without children who are working to make ends meet. There are older women whose children have all left the nest who pick up some hours to keep herself busy. And on and on the examples could go. 

Paul is not saying that by nature of having a uterus, you can never go out into the big bright world. Far from it! He is saying that if you have young ones in the home, then you blaspheme the Word of God if you choose a career over your children. You blaspheme the Word of God if you outsource your maternal affection and active participation in your baby's life and give that sacred duty to swine who will pervert them in government schools, daycares, and after-school programs. There is no substitute for a Christian mother. It is the most important job on earth. 

With that, Paul says that a young married woman with children's first priority is to be home with her young. She is to be there in order to disciple and train them, love them and feed them, care for them, and help them grow up into the kind of citizens that will threaten the hounds of hell by their allegiance to Christ. You cannot subsidize that. You greatly stunt your children's development and nurture if you neglect that. And you blaspheme God's Word if you don't make that a priority. 

#6 TEACH THEM TO BE "GOOD"

While the NKJV renders ἀγαθός (Ah-Gah-Thas) as "kind," the word really just means good or useful. Paul is not saying: "Teach the women to be good," in the same way you might implore little Johnny to stop flushing his Paw Patrol characters down the toilet. This kind of good is not an appeal to behavior but an appeal to goodness itself. He is saying, be the kind of woman that brings goodness, virtue, vitality, and flourishing into your home. Use your feminine love to bless her homestead and blanket every square inch of it with blessing. Decorate it to the glory of God; throw feasts to the honor of His name; cause children to know they belong to Christ and are citizens of the high country of heaven. He is saying, be the glue that holds everything snugly together. When Paul calls a woman to be "good," he is telling her to be the main attraction in her home. To be "the good" that everyone enjoys. When she does that, everyone flourishes! 

#7 TEACH THEM TO BE SUBJECT TO THEIR OWN HUSBANDS

Lastly, Paul reminds women that God has set up a leadership structure within the home that He wants them to remember. He does not tell the woman to be subject to every man or to obey all men, as if she, by nature of her womanhood, is inferior to man. Far from that! Instead, Paul is reminding her that the man she chose to be married to, the one whose character she carefully combed over, is the one she submits to, recognizing that God has given her husband the responsibility and the duty to lead her home. This is good news for the woman. 

First, if the man is responsible for the leadership of the home, then he is the one who will stand before the Lord on whether it rises or falls. This is not a burden that any woman will ever feel herself, at least not ultimately, because God, in His grace, has burdened the man with the position of leadership and responsibility. And holy burden it is. But, as Paul says elsewhere, just because a woman is not responsible before God for the ebb and flow of her home does not mean she has no responsibilities for the success of that home. As we see in Genesis 1 and 2, the woman was made to be the man's helper, help support him, and ensure he thrives in his leadership. As she supports him, he is blessed, she is blessed when he is blessed, and all her family is blessed when they are blessed. By helping the husband thrive as a leader, she is blessing everything and everyone. 

Second, as mentioned above, every woman gets to choose whom she will submit to. Since she will not be called to submit to every man, she gets the opportunity to pick the right man. She gets to evaluate his character and determine if he is a passive pushover who will leave their family vulnerable or if he is a domineering dunderhead who will leave her tribe exasperated. She gets to look beyond appearances and washboard abs to look into the heart and choose a man who is chasing after Christ. Perhaps this is why God did not stimulate both men and women visually because the woman will need to look a little deeper than the superficial, under the veneer of things, to find the right man. 

Either way, the woman has an incredible responsibility for the future blessings of her home. She gets the right and the privilege of finding the kind of man who will love her like Jesus loves the church. And once she has found that man, she gets to help, encourage, and spur him on so that everyone and everything her marriage touches will be blessed. Far from being a trophy wife, she is central and critical to the blessings of her home. 

CONCLUSION: SEVEN WAYS TO BLASPHEME GOD'S WORD

As we have seen, God loves His vision of womanhood so much that He calls it blasphemy to pervert it. And while the world around us would seek to whittle womanhood down from a mighty redwood to a flimsy toothpick by clinging to the Lord's Word in Scripture, I believe we can have a revival of femininity and a resurgence of Christian women. 

In our passage above, we saw seven things a woman must do and must be taught to do so that God's Word is not blasphemed and so that the whole world would teem with blessings:

1. She is to love her husband, be friendly toward Him, and seek to bring holistic joy and pleasure into His life.

2. She is to bring mirth and celebration into her home so that her children feel well-loved, safe, and secure.

3. She is to live a moderate lifestyle, avoiding the pitfalls of polarized living and instead living in the middle and balanced in all things.

4. She is to remain a godly and radiant picture of purity in all aspects of her life.

5. She is to be a diligent worker in her home, laboring to take the blessings her husband provides and multiply them for the good of her family and the glory of God. 

6. She is to be "the good" part of her home so that everyone is blessed by her goodness and benefits from her goodness.

7. She does all these six things in a home where she is subject to her husband.

While this is not an exhaustive view of womanhood, it does offer seven incredible examples of how a woman will be blessed. When she does these seven things, she will be blessed, and so will everyone else around her. May we, as Christians, see these truths, and may they cause us to joyfully obey and worship! And many passages like this cause the merchants of Baphomet to recoil. May they cause the cleverly designed attacks on femininity in this culture to cease, and may a revival of Biblical womanhood break out so that women can again thrive in Christ in this country.